


This is not Farewell

by overtherisingstar



Series: The love story of Thorin Oakenshield and Belladonna Baggins [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Female Bilbo, Happy Ending, Requited Love, Slow Burn, Temporary Character Death, always a female!Bilbo, hopeful but slightly angsty, references to Rapunzel, slight Tangled references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-02 10:56:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/overtherisingstar/pseuds/overtherisingstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Slight crossover with Tangled. Explanation for why I made Bilbo a girl can be found in my Notes.</p><p>This is a story about a hobbit named Bella (to us known more as Bilbo), and how she ensured that the entire company survived the BoFA. And what happens then?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Healing starts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bead/gifts).



Bella groaned as she came to, head pounding as though the entire Company had been stomping on it whilst she was unconscious. It wasn’t the only part of her that ached, either. She was lying on something very uncomfortable and hard, something nearby smelled terrible and what felt like the hilt of a sword was digging into her ribs.

“Urgh,” she muttered, opening her eyes and realizing that she was grimy and, in places, bloody. Then recent events caught up with her.

“Oh no! Aah!” Bella gasped in pain, having scrambled to her feet too fast. Her ankle throbbed in pain and her head swam. She waited, eyes clenched shut, for the dizziness and the nausea to pass, then looked out over what she could see of the battlefield.

It was terrible. Near her were the bodies of some of the fallen, allies and enemies alike. Blood and filth was everywhere, the rock slick with it. The hobbit swayed in shock and fear as she realized that there was not one living soul near her.

“Hello?” she called out, voice trembling. There was no answer. She hobbled to the steep edge of the ledge (Ravenhill, she remembered it was called) and looked out across the distance, and when she squinted, she thought she saw some Elves moving in the distance, but no one nearby. Surely there had to be a camp somewhere, though?

Bella hesitated slightly, then she started to slowly, painstakingly (careful of her injured ankle) pick her way down the mountainside, away from Ravenhill, looking for someone who was alive, someone who could tell her of the outcome of the Battle. The last thing she remembered was the Eagles arriving, and the Elves she thought she saw implied victory, but there were no guarantees. She wondered, trembling, whether anyone else of the Company was even alive anymore, then she slipped on a slick rock and almost went tumbling down, catching herself at the last moment and letting slip a curse as her ankle screamed at her again. She froze, listening to the small rocks that had been dislodged by her clumsiness and the ruckus they made as they tumbled down. She hoped desperately that no one hostile had heard that, or her cursing.

“Hello?” came a call seconds later. “Anyone there?”

Bella breathed a sigh of relief, as that was no orc voice, nor was it a goblin. She had found an ally!

“Here!” she cried out, rounding a big outcropping of rock on her way down, cringing at the sight of a particularly viscously run through body of an Elf in her way. In looking away from the Elf she caught sight of a Man, clearly the one who had been calling out to her, and she waved, but his gaze slid right past her as if she wasn’t there. The hobbit felt a stab of fear at this, wondering if she was in fact a ghost, but then she realized that she was wearing the Ring. She rolled her eyes at herself in relief, pulled it off and waved again. “Over here!”

The Man startled, surprised to see a Little Person appear out of nowhere, in a place where no one had been when last he looked, but he hurried forward to her nonetheless. “Would you be Belladonna Baggins, then?” he asked, looking her over.

Bella blinked in shock. “I am. How did you know?”

“I was tasked with finding you. The king of the dwarves was asking for you. I have been looking for you for hours, and was starting to give up hope of finding you alive. Come, we must make haste!” The urgency was clear in the Man’s voice.

“What happened? Is Thorin alright?” Bella asked, eyes wide, as the Man grabbed her arm and started pulling her with him. She winced, her ankle reminding her of its injury again. “Wait, my ankle…”

The Man stopped, scrutinized her a moment, then seemed to come to a decision. “If you are injured, it may be faster if I carried you,” he said, bending down to gather her up at her hesitant nod, then continuing, “Thorin Oakenshield was alive, though gravely injured, last I heard, but this was several hours ago. I know not of his condition now, or if he is even still alive. That is why we must make haste.”

Bella’s mind whirled. Alive, but gravely injured. It did not bode well.

Over the weeks, or was it months, that had passed since Thorin’s acceptance of her at the Carrock, the two of them, Bella and Thorin, had gotten closer to each other. She had come to cherish Thorin’s kind looks and treasure his words, even as she longed for more. But he was a king, and she a hobbit, and wishing for more than the friendship he gave her freely was foolish. Bella was well aware that it could never be more. She had accepted it.

That did not make it hurt less when the madness started.

The dragon sickness had brought an end to Thorin’s kindness. Bella had known, long before she gave the Arkenstone to Bard in hopes of sparing the lives of her Company, of Kíli and Fíli, Balin and Dwalin, Óin and Glóin, Bifur, Bofur and Bombur, Nori, Dori and Ori… her beloved king… that something was terribly wrong with him, but she had denied it, hoping for a miracle, until she couldn’t anymore. Thorin banishing her had, by that point, been no more or less than what she had expected, thought it still hurt. She had decided that it was a price she was willing to pay, for his life, in the hopes that his sanity would return someday. A foolish hope, she had thought then, but if he was asking for her now…

 _If only it hadn’t come at the price of his life!_ the hobbit thought in despair, clinging slightly to her carrier as he stumbled a little. They were starting to near the flat ground, and signs of life showed itself in the groans of the wounded, the little fires, the tents, and the frantic healers’ activity in the distance. Tears filled her eyes at the sight, tears which she had been struggling to hold back ever since the Man had informed her of Thorin’s condition. It was all too much.

 _But as long as he is still alive, you can save Thorin_ , her conscience whispered at her. _All you have to do is sing a special song and cry…_ The hobbit took a moment to ruefully consider that the crying would not be too difficult to accomplish.

“What of the rest of the Company?” Bella asked once they were firmly on flat ground, unable to keep from voicing her worry anymore. “Do you know what happened to them?”

“No,” the Man answered her regretfully. “The dwarf who gave me details of how to recognize you – by name of Balin? – appeared tired, but not terribly injured. Gandalf, who suggested I look near Ravenhill, as that was where your voice was last heard, has only minor injuries. That is all I know.”

Bella fell silent again at this. Gandalf and Balin were all right. That was at least two accounted for. She had feared worse.

Being unable to do anything else, she went back to contemplating what she could to for Thorin. The thought of using her power tore at her, the stories her mother had told when she was a child all warning against it. One of her ancestors locked in a tower for the duration of her entire childhood by one who would use her power to stay young, another stabbed to death so that she could not save the man she loved, her husband and the father of her children, yet one more sold as a slave and dragged all over the world, treated ill whilst keeping her captors young and healthy until she finally managed to escape…

The hobbit shuddered and forced her mind back to the present. If Thorin was still caught in the throes of madness, and she healed him, such things would likely happen to her. _But I cannot just let him die!_ she cried out silently. Though it would be a moot point if he was already dead.

“Miss Baggins!” Bella heard a rough voice shout. She startled slightly and craned her neck to see Dwalin hurrying towards her, covered in blood but axes newly polished. “There ye are! I was startin’ to think ye’d been lost!”

Bella choked slightly as her carrier carefully put her down, nodded to her and left discreetly. “Dwalin! I’m so happy to see you!” She flung herself at him in a tearful hug, and he clutched her back for a moment, then pushed her away.

“As am I, lass, but ye need to see Thorin, now. He doesn’t have long left,” the grizzled Dwarf told her sadly, and Bella’s breath caught. He was still alive, then. There was a chance!

“I will, but first, what of the rest of the company?” she asked urgently.

Dwalin started to usher her towards a tent even as he answered. “Most of us will heal, but Fíli and Kíli laid down their lives to defend Thorin. A bit less than an hour ago, they were still alive, but now-“ he choked slightly, unable to finish his sentence, and Bella felt her face go white at his news. The urgency was building up in her. The entire company could be still be saved. She was going to have to move fast if she was going to save them all, though, and she had still not decided…!

And then she was in the tent, and Dwalin wasn’t with her anymore, and she was vaguely aware of Dwarves leaving the tent – were those Balin and Óin? – and there was Thorin, his torso torn from many wounds, bloody, cut and bruised, eyes closed, breathing raggedly.

Bella ached, to see him so injured. It seemed a bed hadn’t been found, so all Thorin had to rest on were a few rough blankets on the ground, which were looking as ravaged as Thorin himself. The tent was by no means big, either, so Bella had only to take a few steps before she was falling to her knees at her king’s side, her hands going to his right arm, which looked like the least damaged part of him.

His eyes opened as she touched him, and the blue was clouded, unfocused, so pained.

“Bella?” he murmured, breath rattling horribly in his chest, and Bella choked back tears.

“Yes,” she whispered, lifting a hand to stroke his hair with trembling fingers, “it is me.”

He sighed, and the corners of his mouth curled upwards. “Good.” He moved restlessly, wincing, and she hushed him softly, urging him with her hands to remain still. “No, I must talk while I still have some time,” he began, coughing a bit. “You were right. Had my mind not been clouded I would have seen it. My greed and pride would have killed us all, had it not been for you.”

“Hush,” Bella murmured to him. “You were not yourself.”

Thorin shook his head weakly at her. “My madness does not excuse my actions. I go now to a place where gold and silver is of little worth. I would take back my words and deeds at the Gate, and part from you in friendship, if you can find it in yourself to forgive me.”

“Of course,” Bella answered him. “Of course I will, if you would reclaim this undeserving hobbit as your friend.”

“Undeserving,” Thorin laughed breathlessly, wincing as he did. “No. There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West. Some courage and some wisdom, blended in measure. If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. But sad or merry, I must leave it now. Farewell, my dear hobbit!” He smiled at her, and closed his eyes, sighing.

Bella felt her determination rising. If his speech was anything to judge by, the gold madness had clearly passed. She could not let him die, not now when he had finally gotten his mountain back. She would just have to risk the exposure.

“No, Thorin,” she murmured, cupping his cheek carefully, “this is not farewell. I will not let it be.” And she sang:

 

_“Flower, gleam and glow,_

_Let your power shine,_

_Make the clock reverse,_

_Bring back what once was mine._

_Heal what has been hurt,_

_Change the fate’s design._

_Save what has been lost,_

_Bring back what once was mine,_

_What once was mine.”_

As the song ended, Thorin’s breath ceased, and Bella found no difficulty at all to let her tears fall on him. She sniffled, watching anxiously as her tears were absorbed by his skin. The relief that rushed over her when the glow started was heady.

Despite having had this power her entire life, Bella had always been too afraid to use it, so she had never seen what happened when she did. Thus it was that she watched, wide-eyed, as the golden strands of light filled the tent, and the flower, made of golden power and light, unfurled on Thorin's chest before it faded away and everything went dark again.

She held herself tense, waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first story I've posted in quite a while, and also, English isn't my mother tongue, so please be kind. Constructive criticism welcome, so long as you explain exactly what it was I did wrong.
> 
> The story is based partly on the book, partly on the movie, and partly on my own imagination. The last thing Thorin says to Bella here in Chapter 1 is taken almost entirely from the book (with just a few changes to fit the story). I made Bilbo a girl, and also slightly younger, because I see children in the future and writing male pregnancy doesn't work for me. (Read it? Okay. Write it? No.) Also, I wanted her to have more time with Thorin (and more time that she'd be able to have children).
> 
> I'm a perfectionist, so putting this up is a nervous undertaking for me. I'm nervous as you wouldn't believe. Also, I love feedback of any kind, so please leave kudos, bookmark or comment (or all three, if you liked it).
> 
> This is a gift fic for Bead, who writes such wonderful stories and puts up with my bugging her on Tumblr. My Thorin and Bella are influenced quite a bit by hers. Also, you can find me on Tumblr here: http://overtherisingstar.tumblr.com/
> 
> Also, personal head canon, Dwalin polishes his axes when he is grieving.  
> Hope you enjoyed!


	2. Fíli and Kíli

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, I know, but after that cliff hanger, I thought you should have something. Bit of excitement in this chapter.

For a few seconds, there was nothing, and Bella started to worry.

Then Thorin sighed, breathing started up again, and slowly opened his eyes. Bella had never been so glad to see those lovely blue eyes as she was then, and she let out a breath, gasping slightly in relief.

Thorin blinked up at her, a bemused look taking over his features. “What-“ he trailed off immediately, looking rather speechless.

“Thank the Valar, it worked,” Bella sighed. She got to her feet, and said hurriedly, “I promise I will explain, but there is something I must do first. Can you wait a moment? It oughtn’t take long.”

Thorin gave her a stunned nod, and she immediately started limping out of the tent. She was rather grateful for the excuse to put off the moment when she would have to explain this to him, and her sense of urgency to tend to Fíli and Kíli was growing. She could only hope she would not be too late.

Once outside the tent, the first person she ran into was Bofur, looking uncharacteristically glum. Granted, given what was going on, that was not unexpected, but still strange and wrong, somehow, to see.

“Is he dead, then?” he asked. Bella looked around, realizing that most of the Company was gathered, tensely awaiting her answer. Balin, for some reason, wasn’t there, and neither was Nori, but she didn’t have time to puzzle over that right then.

“No,” she answered hurriedly, “and I need someone to show me where Fíli and Kíli are, quickly.”

A cacophony of surprised voices started, causing Bella to wince from how it exacerbated her headache. She could hear Óin shouting over the rest, “What did she say?”, and Dori, “What is she doing, leaving him alone, if he’s not dead yet?” even as Dwalin hurried forward and into the tent, throwing her a surprised and rather betrayed look as he did so. Bella cringed slightly, hoping he would understand once she had explained.

 It was starting to sink in for her now that she would not be able to get away with only explaining this to Thorin, Fíli and Kíli, but she would have to reveal her secret to the entire Company. It was not a thought she liked at all, but there was no going back now. No use crying over spilt milk, as her Mother used to say.

Ori stepped forward, coming close to her so she could hear him.

“Fíli and Kíli are dead,” he told her solemnly, tear tracks on his face. He looked older than he should have, as though he had aged at least a decade during the course of the Battle. “As of a few minutes ago. I came here straight from their tent.”

A few minutes should still be time enough, if she hurried, Bella considered hopefully, breaths quickening. “Show me to them. Quickly.”

Ori looked puzzled at her urgency, but turned to do as she asked without question. _Bless him,_ Bella thought fondly, _I will have to do something nice for him after this._

The hobbit hobbled after Ori as fast as she could, doing her best to ignore the pain in her ankle, which was not happy with all her use of it. The Company parted to let them through, and they wound between tents, avoiding getting in the way of the dwarves who were hurrying around with bandages and buckets of water as best they could. There was some excitement behind them after they’d gotten a few steps, but Bella ignored it and ushered Ori onwards, guessing that it was only Dwalin having discovered Thorin’s recovered condition.

After a few minutes, Ori stopped outside a tent and held the flap aside for Bella to enter. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek in appreciation and saw out of the corner of her eye, as she turned away and Ori let the flap go, the scribe turn quite red.

Inside the tent was quiet. Upon the ground, lying on rough blankets like Thorin had, and close to each other, were Fíli and Kíli. Bella took a moment to appreciate that they had been placed together in a tent, as they would have wanted, then another moment to panic over who to tend to first, before she firmly suppressed it and hurried forward. She fell to her knees beside Fíli, hoping fiercely that she was not making a mistake.

This time, she sang a little faster, glancing worriedly at Kíli all the while, and as before, crying was not difficult to do. The bright light that signified healing relieved her considerably, as she wasn’t sure how long after death her gift could work.

When it was done, Fíli blinked up at her. Then he sat up to look around wildly. “Kíli! And Thorin! Are they all right? Where are they?” His gaze fell on Kíli lying beside him, pale, wounded and bloody, clearly not breathing, and his face crumpled.

“Thorin is alright!” Bella tried to soothe. “And Kíli will be, hopefully, in a moment.”

Fíli gave her a distressed, disbelieving look.

“Well, how did you think that you are currently alive?” she demanded pointedly.

Fíli floundered for a moment, looking like it had only just dawned on him that he was, in fact, alive, when he shouldn’t be. “Er-“

“Just watch what I do,” the hobbit reassured him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll explain it all later, once we are all gathered, but just watch what I do for now. And do not interrupt until I say you can. Please, I have to hurry.”

The dwarf prince still looked slightly doubtful, but hope was dawning in his eyes nonetheless, and he did not argue. Bella took it as agreement to proceed, and did just that.

Singing was a lot harder this time, with a conscious, attentive audience, but she only faltered once. She felt Fíli’s eyes on her the whole time, but he looked like he hardly dared breathe, for fear of interrupting.

After she had let her tears fall, the song done, she waited tensely for the glow to start again. Once it did, she let out a relieved sigh and nodded to Fíli that he could talk. The prince didn’t look like he was much interested in talking at the moment, though. He was a little preoccupied, watching the golden strands of light and the unfurling flower with shocked, wide eyes.

When Kíli started breathing again, Fíli choked slightly, throwing Bella a wild-eyed look that she nodded in response to, and then he flung himself at his brother just as Kíli was opening his eyes. Bella managed to move aside just in time, falling over in the process, and Kíli sputtered slightly as Fíli’s hair got into his mouth.

“Fíli, what?” Kíli struggled with getting Fíli off him. “Get off, I can’t see!”

“You’re alive!” Fíli exclaimed. “You’re alive, but you weren’t before, and I’m alive, but I wasn’t before, and Bella did it and how did you do it?!” At the last question, Fíli finally let go of Kíli and turned around to look at Bella again. He had an amazed, grateful look in his eyes, and Kíli had calmed down and was giving her a wide-eyed look, too.

Bella curled in on herself slightly at the attention. “It is something of a family secret,” the hobbit answered hesitantly, suspecting that she looked rather wide-eyed herself. _I did it!_ she thought disbelievingly. _They are alive, they are all alive, and_ I _saved them!_

“Oh, come on!” Kíli exclaimed. “You can’t just _resurrect_ Fíli and me and then tell us nothing more than ‘it is something of a family secret’!”

“I was not done!” Bella protested. “I _am_ going to tell you, but it is a bit of a family secret, so it is going to have to stay between the Company, and oh good gracious, I never told them not to tell!” She scrambled to her feet, wincing slightly, and burst through the tent flap, only to run straight into Bifur, bouncing back slightly and almost falling before he caught her.

The dwarf was in a state of excitement, gesturing wildly at her as soon as she’d regained her balance and babbling at her in Khuzdul. His excitement grew as Fíli and Kíli burst out of the tent after her, and his gestures and pointing grew so frenzied he almost smacked her in the face.

“Bifur! Bifur, calm down!” Bella exclaimed, stumbling back and being steadied by Kíli.

Fíli stepped forward and said something in an urgent voice, and Bifur stilled a bit. As Fíli kept speaking to Bifur, keeping his voice low, Kíli murmured to Bella, “He is telling him what you said, that you were the one who revived us somehow, but that it’s a family secret so he mustn’t tell.”

Bella nodded, glancing around herself uneasily. All the excitement was starting to draw the attention of other dwarves nearby, packed as it was with the tents and the narrow passages between them. Heads were poking out of tent flaps and faces turning their way. The hobbit gulped slightly.

Kili followed her gaze, and his hand tightened on her arm. “Come on. We had best find the others.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might be a while until the next chapter, because School and Work, but I'll get on it as soon as I can.
> 
> As for the Company not knowing that something Unusual had happened when Bella stepped out of Thorin's tent, pretend that the tent fabric was really thick. ;) And about Bella's gift, I imagine the time Bella has to heal someone after they’ve died to be about the same amount of time you have to revive someone after they’ve been suffocated. Four-five minutes without risk of brain damage, a little bit more (half an hour? Not sure) where it’s possible to revive them, but with risk of brain damage. No brain damage in this story, though.
> 
> Oh, and poor Kíli thought it was still in the middle of the Battle when he woke up, in case someone wondered why he tried to fight Fíli off.
> 
> This chapter was really hard to write, because seriously, what do you say to someone when you've died and then you're alive again?


	3. Familial revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't go according to plan (when do they ever?).

The four of them started on their way, but they did not get far. Halfway back to Thorin’s tent, the group encountered the king himself.

Thorin looked rather grim and determined, shouldering his way through excited dwarves who couldn’t understand how their king could be lying at Death’s door one moment, only to appear completely healthy the next. Even the healers, who by all rights had more important things to do at the moment, paused to gape.

“Uncle!” Kíli shouted, waving to get his attention. “Over here!”

Thorin looked straight at them, and his face immediately lost some of its tension. “Kíli! Fíli!” he exclaimed and, ignoring the onlookers, marched up to them to gather both nephews into one big hug. “Good to see you alive.”

“Good to see you alive, too. How is a secret, by the way,” Fíli informed him, sounding rather squashed. “Spread the word.”

Thorin threw a questioning glance at Bella as he released the princes, both of whom were smiling widely, and she gave him a tiny nod. Bifur chose that moment to thump first Bella, then Thorin on the shoulder and hurry off, presumably to do his part in informing the Company of the secret.

Bella started to follow, but Thorin stopped her with a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Let Bifur take care of it. We have other things to do.”

“Such as?” Kíli asked.

“We need to find Balin and Dáin,” Thorin explained as he started walking. Bella, Fíli and Kíli followed without being asked. “There is much to take care of, and they will need to be informed of this new development.”

“What is my part in this?” Bella asked, frowning.

“To stay with me,” Thorin answered grimly. “I am not letting you out of sight until you have explained how you accomplished this turn of events, but now is not the time. We have the aftermath of a battle to clean up, first.”

Bella fell silent at this. Fíli and Kíli exchanged glances, but said nothing.

 

~~~

 

Bella did not, in fact, end up staying with Thorin throughout finding Balin and Dáin and assisting with the cleanup of the battle. Instead, Gandalf cheerfully appropriated her away from Thorin as soon as they encountered the wizard. Thorin did not look at all happy with this new development but allowed it nonetheless.

At least, he allowed it after much arguing.

“Well, then, Bella,” Gandalf started as soon as he had managed to wrestle her away from Thorin, guiding her to a rather non-descript tent at the outskirts of the camp. “I see you have decided to trust the Company with your secret.”

Bella sputtered slightly, giving Gandalf an astonished look over her shoulder as she entered the tent. The wily old wizard gave her a far too innocent look in return as he ducked his head to follow her in.

“Well, my dear, who did you believe gave your great-great-great-grandmother Camellia the information she needed to escape her tormentors?”

Bella had to sit down hard on a convenient wooden stool at that. “That was you?” _This was not how I imagined this day would go,_ she bemoaned quietly. _This has gone so far off from how I imagined this day would go that it isn’t even funny anymore. How much is one hobbit expected to be able to_ deal _with in one day?_

“Indeed it was,” Gandalf replied, taking out his pipe and lighting it for a smoke. Bella eyed it enviously, musing silently that the wizard was taking far too much enjoyment in turning her days upside down. “And while we are on that topic, can I just say how very glad I am to see you alive, dear Bella.” He beamed at her.

Bella smiled reluctantly back. “Thank you.” Really, it was just too hard to be angry with Gandalf. He was an exasperating old sod, but it was impossible to be angry with him.

At least, that was what she thought until the implications of this new piece of knowledge of her great-great-great-grandmother caught up with her.

“Wait a moment,” Bella exclaimed. “If you knew all along what I could do, was this the reason, then, why you chose me to join Thorin’s Company? Me, out of all the hobbits in the Shire?”

Gandalf gave her a long look, puffing on his pipe for several infuriating moments before choosing to answer. “You would think so, wouldn’t you?” He gazed silently at the tent walls for a few moments while Bella’s anger gave way to confusion, then continued on almost absently, “But all the magical power in the world means nothing, Belladonna Baggins, if you do not have the sense to use it for the best, nor the courage to wield it.”

Bella was silent for a while, trying to work out the wizard’s meaning, while the wizard himself remained lost in thought, before she ventured uncertainly, “Does that- What does that mean?”

He fixed her suddenly with a penetrating look, which quickly gave way to a smile. “It means, my dear hobbit, that you could have had all the power of Eru himself and I would not have chosen you for this quest, had you not had a stellar character to go with it.” He winked at her, and she felt her face heat up to a truly alarming temperature.

“Well… Thank you,” she said, rather abashed.

“You are very welcome!” Gandalf answered brightly, but then he swiftly turned serious again. “But I believe that the original purpose of this conversation was to discuss the circumstances behind your choice to reveal your ability to the Company?”

“Oh, yes,” Bella realized. “I admit I did not entirely think it through. My only thought was to preserve the Company, the entire Company. I only took into consideration the fact that Thorin seemed to no longer suffer from the gold sickness before I made my decision, and it was only after I had already healed Thorin that I realized that this would mean I would have to reveal my secret to them all.” Her flushed cheeks, which had started to regain their original colour, turned red once again as Gandalf gave her a considering look.

“Your only thought was to preserve the Company, you say,” he mused, eyes glittering with humour.

“Well, what business is it of yours if I had other motivations as well,” she snapped defensively, blushing wildly. Gandalf raised a calming hand.

“None whatsoever,” he agreed, suspiciously docile. “And what is your plan from this point forward?”

Bella gave him a suspicious look, but seized onto the new subject easily enough. “To gather the entire Company and explain my ability to them all at once. I suppose we will have to circulate some story to the rest about some unknown miracle or higher power seeing fit to save the line of Durin. And after that…“ She deflated a bit. “After that, I suppose it is time for me to go home. After all,” she smiled humourlessly, “what help can one hobbit miss be to dwarves rebuilding an entire kingdom? The purpose for which I came has been fulfilled. My task is done. What more is there for me to do here?”

For a long moment, Gandalf said nothing, only gazed at her kindly. Then, just as Bella was about to continue, believing that the wizard wouldn’t answer, he said shrewdly, “But you do not want to go home as of yet, do you?”

Bella closed her mouth and bit her lip, hesitating over how to answer. “On the one hand, yes, I do. I miss my home, my armchair, my maps and my books… but…” She sighed. “But on the other hand, I will miss the Company so much when I leave,” she admitted finally, whispering.

“Oh, I am certain Thorin will find something for you to do if you choose to stay a while longer,” Gandalf said decisively. “After all, it is not only the architecture that will need to be repaired. Erebor had a very great library, do you know, and it will need restoration. I cannot think of anyone better suited for that task than one with the delicate hands of a hobbit!”

Bella could not help but smile hopefully at that. “Thank you, Gandalf, it is very kind of you to sugges-“ she broke off, coughing. The smoke from Gandalf’s pipe, having nowhere to disperse to, had finally filled the air of the tent, making the act of breathing slightly heavy.

Gandalf moved with surprising speed to put out his pipe, assist Bella in getting to her feet and herd her out of the smoke-filled tent. “There, fresh air is what we both need most, now! I hadn’t realized how heavy the air was getting in there.” He coughed a little himself. “Ah, well, it is just as well that we end our conversation here, I must meet up with our esteemed leaders to ensure there will be no further bloodshed today. Do you know,” Gandalf added ruefully, “preserving Thorin and his heirs is all well and good, but I would have been more at ease leaving Dáin alone in the same tent as Thranduil than I am Thorin. I ought to make haste.”

Bella pulled at his sleeve to bid him wait until she could stop coughing long enough to speak, then asked, eyes streaming, “Do you need me to come with you?”

“No, no, my dear, there is a tent set up for you over there,” he nodded to the tent to the left of the one they had held their conversation in. “Take a rest and stay off that ankle of yours until it heals, that is all I ask. I will inform Thorin of your location.”

The hobbit gave a somewhat doubtful, but grateful all the same, nod, and watched the wizard hurry off. She lost sight of him quickly between the tents.

With a sigh, she turned around and regarded the tent the old wizard had pointed her towards. It was just as non-descript as the one beside it, but some rest sounded heavenly at the moment. Suddenly the tent seemed very far away.

Bella could do no more than hobble into her temporary abode and collapse onto the fabric spread out as a makeshift mattress before the weariness from her eventful day and injured body pulled her eagerly into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small, enclosed space plus lots of smoke equals, in my mind, uncomfortable breathing. Yep.
> 
> Bella’s great-great-great-grandfather was Isumbras Took III. I could find no information on his wife, only that he had two sons, Ferumbras II and Bandobras, so I took the liberty of making up her name and history. Camellia is a flower that (to me) looks a bit like a rose, at least some kinds of it do, and as far as I could tell, camellia (in general) means excellence and steadfastness. Seemed fitting for someone who had survived slavery and went on to find happiness (and also became a mother and the wife of the Thain of the Shire). But I don't know, maybe I'm just sleep deprived.


	4. Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a long talk and some long awaited explanations. Sorry this took so long, real life got kinda busy and I got sidetracked by the Avengers and WoW. Whoops?

It was the rustle of parchment and the silent _whoosh_ of the tent flap that eventually woke her.

The pounding in her head had settled down somewhat, but her thoughts still felt muddled and cloudy, her eyes gritty as she worked them laboriously open.

She was greeted by the sight of Thorin sitting on the ground by her feet, parchments spread out around him and his hands ink-stained, a look of weary concentration on his face. By the looks of it, he had been there a while.

Bella blinked at him, trying to make sense of _why_ he was there, when she remembered his vow to not let her out of his sight before she had explained to him what was going on. She hurriedly moved on from that thought.

“Did you meet with the other leaders, then?” the hobbit blurted out in an attempt to distract herself from her own thoughts.

Thorin raised his head to look at her, a slightly startled look on his face. “Yes, I did. Good morning,” he added wryly.

Bella tried not to blush. “My apologies, good morning. I seem to have left my manners behind somewhere today.” Thorin hummed noncommittally by way of answer, lowering his head back to the parchments.

The hobbit tried again. “So, how did it go?”

“Well enough,” Thorin answered shortly, reaching for a parchment a bit further away than the rest. He seemed to be cross-referencing it with the parchment directly in front of him. Bella watched with narrowed eyes, pushing herself up on her elbows to try to peek at them and trying not to worry too much about the fact that, with Thorin, ‘well enough’ could mean anything between ‘we reached an agreement’ and ‘nobody died’.

“What are those, then, that you seem to be so focused on?”

“They are reports on food stocks, healing supplies, lists of wounded and so forth,” he answered absent-mindedly.

“And… why are you looking at them in my tent while I sleep?” Bella asked, knowing the answer but wanting to confirm it anyway. The tent seemed suddenly smaller than it had been when she entered.

“Because I am waiting for an explanation,” the dwarf king said, finally meeting her gaze directly.

Bella sighed and sat up. “Would you be content with the short version of the tale now and the long version once we are all gathered? The full story really is a very long story.” She chewed on her lip and fingered the edge of her shirt, uncomfortable.

“That is agreeable.” He stacked the parchments away and settled himself comfortably, then met her gaze expectantly.

“All right.” She pulled in a deep breath and fussed slightly with her clothing, trying to buy time. “The short version is that there has been an ability in my family line for thousands of years, an ability to heal and renew. I used that ability last night to heal you and the princes. The reason why I like to keep it secret is because members of my family have been persecuted and killed because of this ability before, and I really would prefer not to be. I do not use it often because it is rather extravagant, and the risks of being discovered using it are great.” She met his gaze head on as she added heavily, “As a matter of fact, last night was the first time I _ever_ used that ability.”

Thorin considered her a moment, brows furrowed, then asked, “If you have never used it before, then how did you know that you had the ability? Do all the members of your family have it?”

“No,” Bella answered with a sigh, “but everyone who was born with this ability was born with hair the colour of golden sunlight. The first time it is cut, it turns another colour, the natural colour we _should_ have been born with. And I was born with golden hair.”

“Ah,” he answered quietly. There were several moments of thoughtful silence where Thorin regarded her silently and Bella tried not to fidget under his heavy gaze.

“You do not seem very surprised,” the hobbit noted, trying to break the silence.

“I am not,” Thorin admitted. “I have had many hours to think it over while you slept, and the conclusion I arrived at was very similar to the truth.” He hesitated slightly, then added quietly, “Dwalin tells me my nephews died before you healed them.”

Bella nodded, throat tight.

“…You can heal even people who have died.”

“This is starting to seem like the sort of thing we should be discussing while the entire Company is here,” she groused. “You know they are going to ask much the same questions.” As Thorin just kept looking at her, she steeled herself and nodded. “Only for a certain time. An hour after death is too much. I do not know more precisely than that, but I know from my mother’s stories that an hour is too much. Perhaps even half an hour.”

Thorin looked slightly disappointed at this, but he nodded nonetheless. “I see. Are there any repercussions when you use this ability? A price to be paid?”

Bella shook her head. “No, none. In that aspect, at least, it is safe to use.”

There was yet more silence, then the dwarf king shook his head, apparently physically shaking himself out of his heavy thoughts, and said, “Enough about that for now. Gandalf tells me you wish to stay in Erebor a while longer?” he asked, meeting her gaze with purpose. Bella tried not to question his evident pleasure in her reported wish to stay too much.

“If there is anything I can do to be of use,” she nodded. “Gandalf said the library needs restoring?”

“Indeed it does,” Thorin smiled. “There are also some terrace gardens in the upper levels, if memory serves, which will need quite a bit of work. You talk so fondly of your own garden; I thought it might bring you some pleasure to have soil under your hands again.”

The hobbit perked up at this. “Yes, well, I grow mostly vegetables in my own garden, but I am certain there is something I can do to help! If they are terrace gardens, then I suppose mostly vines, peas and other such climbers are in question?” she asked eagerly.

Thorin chuckled lightly. “I am afraid my knowledge in this area is negligible at best. As a prince, I was mostly expected to inspect the mines and the workshops, my days rarely led me to the gardens.”

“Oh, of course.” She bit her lip, trying to reign in her eagerness. She was itching to start, to have the satisfaction of dirt under her fingernails and plants blooming under her efforts. _Patience, Bella_ , she told herself. _Winter is starting, which means library and book restoration during the winter and the terrace gardens in the spring…_ Then she realized with a jolt that she was planning for a very long stay indeed. Her eyes flew to Thorin’s as she blurted without much thought, “You mean for me to stay for a rather long time.”

His eyebrows rose.

“I can only truly start restoration on the terrace gardens in spring, I mean, I can work on the soil and plant the seeds now, leeks if I can get them but I would likely have to grow them myself over the winter in that case, which means I can only plant them in spring, and the work on the gardens will likely last at least one summer through. There is also the fact that travelling during winter is never a good idea, particularly not over the Misty Mountains, which means that I would have to stay for eighteen months, at the least, following this plan,” she finished, looking at him expectantly.

Thorin looked rather abashed. “Well, there is no danger of you running out of things to do. I prefer to think of it as you being able to stay as long as you like.”

Bella stilled at this, trying to decide whether to jump for joy or dread the possibility of being trapped. Still, she could see no signs of him trying to _force_ her to stay, so she chose to be optimistic and think the dragon sickness well and truly passed.

“Thank you,” she murmured, touched.

What his wish for her to stay would mean if it truly was not dragon sickness, she could not dwell on. It would cause her to hope too much.

He nodded to her, then clambered to his feet and picked up the stack of parchments. “The rest of the Company are eager to see you,” he told her neutrally. “They are spread out with their tasks, but I suggest finding some of them and assisting with their tasks if you wish to make yourself useful.”

The hobbit nodded, climbing to her feet as well at the very obvious hint that the conversation was over. “I will.”

Thorin looked her over from head to toe, parchments clasped against his chest, then added, “Dori is not far away, to the south, creating bandages out of scraps of cloth others bring him. I would suggest finding him, as you may stay off that injured ankle of yours, then.”

Bella grinned sheepishly. Her attempts to mask her pain while getting to her feet had clearly not been successful.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it’s going to take Bella a while to completely trust Thorin again. It can’t be helped.
> 
> Merry Christmas to you all!


End file.
